Patrice Keegan was diagnosed with open-angle glaucoma when her youngest son Brett was in his senior year of college. Brett had heard of glaucoma, and knew it affected the eyes, but didn’t know anything else about it or what it could mean for the person who has it. 

Patrice had a family history of glaucoma, but her husband Bob and their sons were surprised by the severity of her condition. “The inability to go back was what hit me the most,” Brett said in a recent interview. It’s “one thing to temporarily lose some of your sight, but the idea of her permanently losing that much of the periphery was something that I thought about for a long time.”

Taking On the Role of Caregiver

After college, Brett took on the role of secondary caregiver for Patrice, along with his dad. His brothers, who don’t live at home, help out when they can, too. They’re all “like mini-parents” now, Brett says of their caregiver roles, but calls it a “natural outflow of being part of a family together.”

He and his dad do many of the same things around the house:

• Make sure glasses aren’t too close to the edge of tables
• Move shoes out of the way
• Clean dishes
• Ensure that if something’s out of place, it’s put back in the right spot

They’re “quiet kinds of things,” Brett says, “like elves in fairytales” do.

How Being a Caregiver Has Changed Him

Patrice can see changes in her son since he’s been helping take care of her. “I think it’s made him a little bit more insightful,” she said, “as far as being with people and being aware of people with disabilities.”

Their mom’s glaucoma has also been a wake-up call for Brett and his brothers concerning their own health, and what it means to have a family history of the disease. They are now more diligent about getting their eyes checked.

Words of Advice for Other Caregivers

At the time of the interview, Brett was looking to move out on his own. He was worried about what would become of his mom without him living there to help look after things. “As you take more ownership emotionally and labor-wise with someone as a caregiver, there’s a sense of anxiety that grows…a fear of what may happen if things get worse or something bad happens,” he said. 

“I think you have to kind of find your balance or your place within that situation or relationship. Learning the little ways that it affects someone’s life, and how to be helpful or responsive to that.”

*BrightFocus Foundation. (2021, Apr. 8). A Son’s Story: Brett [YouTube Video]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VnmjS9hMAs